I believe I experienced the first stirrings of a vocation when in the sixth grade a sister spoke briefly to us of the Trappists, mentioning that they were known for their austerity of life. This caught my interest and made a lasting impression.

Then on a Sunday evening, as I remember, I listened to a radio broadcast of a screenplay entitled, The Garden of Allah. It was not a very edifying tale. An apostate monk falls in love and abandons his vocation. I later saw the film. It was set in a French Trappist monastery in Northern Africa. Many of the scenes depicted the daily life of the monks, and they were of considerable interest to me. I suppose at this time I had a rather romantic view of monasticism.

The great breakthrough of my vocational journey came after I read The Man Who Got Even With God by Father Raymond, which portrayed the life of the laybrothers at Gethsemani Abbey in Kentucky. It was also around this time that I wrote to the monastery of Our Lady of the Valley in Rhode Island and received a descriptive booklet. These two books, along with a booklet from Gethsemani Abbey, some articles from the Catholic Encyclopedia and a copy of the Rule of Saint Benedict were all the input I ever received. I never visited a monastery or knew a monk. But the hidden life of prayer lived in solitude and silence became my utopian ideal.

I knew it was going to be hard, but I never thought it would be so austere. There were times when I felt like running away, but somehow I could never muster up the courage. With the help of divine grace, I persevered. But I encountered an impasse as the time for solemn profession approached. I did not feel ready to make that lifetime commitment. But the Abbot supported me, saying that he believed I had a true vocation to the Cistercian life. So, relying on the intercession of Mary and the saints, I leapt out in faith and made my solemn profession on August 15, 1955, the Solemnity of the Assumption of Mary, at the new monastery in Spencer. (By) this time our monastic community had transferred to central Massachusetts after the disastrous fire in Rhode Island. Four members of my immediate family were present that day. I now consider solemn profession the most significant and wonderful happening in my life after my baptism.

It surprises me how little the contemplative life costs me today compared to the great hardships of the early days. Perhaps it is the action of the grace of state, but I think it is also the way our Order has wonderfully adapted our living, praying and working conditions to the needs of modern men and women. I hope that I will have the health and strength to continue to provide the skilled service that is always needed in a monastery.

Brother Jerome in 1952, lower right

During these years other attractions would come and go, but I would always return to this one. I felt impervious to peer pressure, and I had little interest in the things that most teenagers consider important. At the time of high school graduation, I did not feel ready to enter a monastery. I was only seventeen, and I thought it would be best to gain more experience of life. Also, my mother was opposed to the cloistered religious life, and her tears restrained me. I did not think in terms of abandoning my monastic calling but only deferring it. This was a decision that I regretted in later years.

Yet I entered this new phase of my life with bright hopes. I had a couple of good employment opportunities. I gained some skill and experience working at a trade. There were warm friendships and many good leisure time experiences. I acquired a few possessions and modest savings. There was time and inclination for reading, and I gained much inspiration and motivation from books. Still there was a gnawing discontentment that my life was taken up with so much trivia; and this discontentment increased with time. In more reflective moments the thoughts of my first love would return. I had a yearning for the monastic life. Finally an opportunity presented itself, and I acted decisively. I applied to the Monastery of Our Lady of the Valley and was graciously accepted on All Souls Day, 1949.